Loose lips might sink ships, but thumbs don't go in noses

The other morning, I was all warm and cuddly in my bed. My bed for the record, consists of many layers:

-Mattress cover
-Flannel fitted sheet
-Flannel top sheet
-Blanket
-Comforter
-Down-alternative comforter
-Cover

Why do I have 2 comforters? Neither are very thick and I am too cheap to buy a replacement for my beloved down blanket (RIP), and since my mom is a duck lover she refuses to buy me one. Additionally, I have to put a COVER on top of my comforters for all the damn pets to sleep on my bed. In general, they take up more room than I do. And I'm not even kidding.

So on Tuesday morning, I was tucking myself back into bed all nice & cozy since I didn't have to be up until like 10:30. As I pull the blankets up closer to my neck, I somehow jam my thumb in my nostril. Luckily, the thumb is too big to go up there too far. But I tell you: IT WAS PAINFUL. I laid there groaning with my eyes watering for a good 2 minutes. I think I might have had a slight inkling of the pain a man's testicles feels. Okay, probably not.

Okay, I think I can rest peacefully tonight knowing that I have confessed this unfortunate story. If I can save one person from trying to put their thumb up their nose (hey, better than your ass!) then it will all be worth it.

Live on.