Phase out

This year, I will turn 29.  More often than not, I feel like I lost the better part of the last 5 years.  Like they just flew by me!  But, I also think that once you start working full-time, life does seem to go by much faster than the earlier days in life that weren't filled with so much... responsibility.

But even though I am close to staring 30 in the face, I honestly don't feel like I have many regrets.  When I was a teenager, I always said I wanted to get married at 23 and start a family between 25-26.  Yeah, those years and those ideas came and went.  To think that what I envisioned for myself would today involve a marriage of almost 6 years and a 3 year old kid, is scary.

I am ready for that phase of my life though.  I think I have lived an awesome "adulthood" so far.  I went away to school.  I got to study in Spain.  I partied like a rock star in college, made some great friends, had some of the best years of my life.  I landed a good job only 2 months after graduating from college.  I have benefits, paid vacation, and retirement.  I have my own place.  I have leased 2 cars and just bought a used car with cash.  I've traveled (South America, New York, Vegas, Florida, Texas) more than I thought I ever would.  I have learned so much about myself and grown so much since I graduated from WMU almost 6 years ago.

Like I said though, I'm ready for the next phase of my life.  I'm already in the mindset of "early to bed, early to rise."  I see people pushing strollers and I'm envious.  Don't get me wrong - I do not want the cart before the horse - I want all of it.  But, I hope it is coming to me sooner, rather than later.

So, it's no surprise to me that I don't really go out anymore.  I hate spending money on any type of alcohol.  I hate being in a smokey bar and coming home and wanting to go to bed, but don't want to lie my head on my pillow because my hair stinks.  I hate that I have gone out too many times in the past and have driven home after a few drinks when I clearly knew better.  I'm just not willing to spend money I don't have and put my life in danger as well as anyone else's.  Not to mention I am dieting these days and alcohol is purely empty calories!  I just think that phase of my life is over - and going out on a work night, forget it.  If I'm not in bed by 12:00, tomorrow is already not looking so hot!

Maybe I'm becoming an old lady.  Maybe I'm acting like I'm 38 and not 28.  Someday maybe I will look back and say "wow, I wish I had gone out more."  But I honestly don't think I will.  I'm content with my DVR and my evenings at home.  I have a bottle of wine in my fridge that has been there since Christmas that I still haven't opened... obviously, I don't feel like I'm missing out on much there.

My friends ridicule me for not going out more, but what do I care?  I'm not going to waste money at the bar.  I'm not going to meet my future husband over a pitcher of beer.  I'm not going to drive myself home after drinking said beer.  It's just not worth it to me.  I lived those years of my life:  I fell flat on my ass after falling off a bar stool at a shot bar in Salamanca.  I've drank in bars when I was underage.  I went to the Roadhouse for long islands on the night before finals.  I had people put me to bed after parties with too many martinis.  I've had my share of fun, that's for sure.  I would probably be bummed if I looked back on my college days and didn't have those memories.  But where I am here and now - I'm damn content.