Slightly freaking out

I got my first Blackberry in May 2009.  Within a week, it had to be replaced because it was freezing up.  In November, I had to get a new one to replace the one I lost in Vegas...to the tune of $50, thank goodness for insurance!  As of the last few weeks, my newest Blackberry (that I got like 5 weeks ago, tops!) will not ring.  I consider myself to be pretty technologically savvy and I just couldn't figure it out.  Today, I finally took it to the Sprint store.

And surprise, surprise - they are replacing it.  AGAIN.  Apparently, the speaker is shot on it.  Luckily, I got smart and bought a memory card so that I won't lose the few things I have stored on this phone in the last month.  But I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just way hard on my phones or if Blackberry's in general are just POS's.  But, I LOVE my Blackberry so I don't think I could go to anything else.  Except for maybe the iPhone but that's not even an option.

The last few nights I've been having really bad dreams.  Not the kind that make me wake up screaming or scared to be alone by myself at night.  Rather, they are dreams that involve people dying.  Last night, I had a dream that 6 people I went to high school with died in separate accidents.  I had a dream that Blake Lively who I don't think I've ever seen act in anything other than "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" died.  It seems to be a death theme.  And I'm not gonna lie and say it's not freaking me out.  Because it totally is.  Perhaps I am faced with my own mortality more now than ever as I get older.  Perhaps it's from the tarot card reading Carla gave me the other day that hinted toward a death in May.  Maybe it's because I watched "Paranormal Activity" in broad daylight the other day and thought it was cheesy and now it's coming back to haunt me.  I don't know, but I'm none too pleased!

I'm also reminded at times that Chase is currently 4 years old (only for 2 more weeks, OMG!).  I am 28.  I was 4 and my Uncle Matt was 28 when he passed away in 1985.  That thought terrifies me.  I'm not afraid of death - I just would never want to hurt that precious boy in any way.  I didn't understand what was going on when my uncle died.  I do have a few select memories of him, and I cherish those.  I don't ever want to plague Chase with those types of memories of his aunt.  I want to be around for the next 70 years to hug and kiss on that sweet, little boy.  The thought that I am 28 and he is 4 should be a flicker in my mind...rather than  an area of concern.

In other news, it's 4 days into a new year and I have such optimism for this year.  I don't plan on taking any extravagant vacations or making any large purchases.  I plan to work on eliminating my current debt, learning to live within my means and to enjoy each and every moment.  I'm not going to dwell on medical issues, relationships gone bad or the hunt for "Mr. Right."  I'm going to live in the moment, appreciate my family, enjoy my friends and be glad for everything that I have.  For that - I cannot wait.  It's going to be a great YEAR :)