The voice inside my head

I have a lot of reading to do. I have decisions to make, changes to think over, ideas that need to be slept on. But if life isn’t about making decisions and changes, then what is life about?

I finally received a diagnosis today. The good news? I’m not crazy – there was something going on in my pelvic area! The bad news? I have PCOS – Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It’s not a life altering diagnosis, but it is one of concern.

What PCOS is, is a bit complicated. Apparently, your body tends to make more of a certain horomone (androgen - it’s actually very similar to testoterone which yes women do produce!) than it should and it throws things out of wack. Therefore, when you are supposed to ovulate and let go of that egg every month, your ovary tends to hold onto it. It then in turn becomes a cyst. After a while of this, you tend to develop multiple cysts, which can be all over your ovary(ies).

In my case, I have one 3 centimeter cyst on my left ovary and a number of cysts on my right ovary. This explains the pain – cysts can be painful!

How do you diagnose this? How do you treat it? There isn’t any one way to diagnose it. It’s pretty much a process of multiple tests, and a process of elimination. After J talked to the gyno today, they easily agreed that I have PCOS. I have all of the traits:

-Acne
-Overweight
-Irregular periods
-Pelvic pain
-High cholesterol
-Ovarian cysts
-Increased hair growth (which for the record I am not suffering from, thank goodness!)

The good thing about PCOS? There are lifestyle changes that can be made to help ease it – losing weight, exercising, watching what you eat. Oh, and for the hair there is tweezers (: Really though, it can be managed. It actually needs to be managed because it can lead to more severe health problems like diabetes and heart disease.

The bad thing, is that it can make conception difficult. I’m a kid person, we all know that. So the idea of having a hard time conceiving is daunting. There is nothing I want more in this life than to experience being pregnant. But with technology and the medications we have today, it should most definitely be feasible. I have heard – today alone – of many women who have PCOS and went on to have multiple pregnancies.

When Dr. first came in the room today, I knew something was wrong. I could tell just by the way she came in and the tone of her voice. It was different. Once she started reading my results, I just sat there. I eventually started crying. Despite having surgery and taking birth control, I’m still having problems. These cysts keep coming back up, despite my best efforts. It’s tough. I feel like there is something I should be doing.

Many things in life could be worse. Someone out there likely got very bad news today – cancer, infection, surgery - and my situation is mediocre in comparison. I will definitely take the time to research what this is, and what I can do.

But in the mean time, life does go on. Life will go on.